Face Book : Self Portrait June

i've noticed lately a strong desire NOT to go on the internet.

it may be because the summer weather has been summoning me outdoors any chance i get,

or the fact that with my job, i am always somehow 'connected',

or that my husband is the Digital Diet Guy & his influence is creeping in.

but to be totally honest, i am just kind of tired of it. i don't think it is 'natural' for us to be glued to a screen of any sort. think about it -- our bodies feel good when we are in movement and/or around people! i could be having the worse day, but the minute i get outside to walk our dogs, greet a neighbor or two, etc. there is something that happens when i am breathing in that fresh air that cannot be bought, and most certainly cannot be received through a computer screen.

don't get me wrong either, i am not anti-internet & i definitely enjoy the MANY positive aspects the internet provides (including allowing me to have this blog of mine & showcase not only my art, but connect with so many wonderful people...many i have never even met in person ).

yes, the internet can be a positive thing indeed... but as with most things in life, there is always a need for... you guessed it! BALANCE.

so lately i have been disconnecting... i may post a few inspiring things as they happen, but i really have been letting go of the need to be so connected. if i miss something, i miss it. if it is important for me to know, i am sure someone will find a way to reach me.

with this disconnection, i feel calmer & more in control, which i love.
i am also stumbling across different things that have inspired me in the past... such as this poem called "The Awakening" by Sonny Carroll.
NOTE : i was actually emailed this poem originally by a friend, however i did some research & found a longer version of it HERE.

it is a longer poem (which is another thing i have noticed -- with SO much on the internet we are growing less patient with reading anything more than 140 characters! what?!!!!) however, if you are in the need for some encouragement & nourishment for the soul, i suggest you take some time for yourself & read it all the way through. it has many awesome reminders in it.

it starts like this :
& the entire poem reads :

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere,
the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes,
you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening...

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change,
or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella
and that in the real world,
there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter)
and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with YOU
and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always
love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...
and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)
And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process,
a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you)
and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say
and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process,
a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are
and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties
and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you,
is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.
You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave,
how you should look and how much you should weigh,
what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive,
how and where you should live and what you should do for a living,
who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage,
the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown,
or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process,
you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive
and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing
and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era,
but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything;
it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility
and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love.
How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk a
if YOUR face was a book,,,
what would it read?

mine is a combination of
HOPE, fear, LIFE, struggle, LIGHT, tears, LOVE, heartache, BELIEF, doubt, PASSION, sadness, HAPPINESS
& most of all FAITH.

...and of course, still being written.

with love & gratitude,

Back to all posts