. Truths .
as i continue to digest & work on the images captured from my recent experience in Ethiopia , i notice my mind is even more overfloweth with ideas then ever before.
if that is even possible.
with the fact that summer is somehow already transitioning into fall & that this season, like every season, has been keeping me twirling in bizanelyness... truth be told, sometimes these wonderful 'ideas' that somehow won't leave me alone can almost feel a bit overwhelming...'when do i start?' 'how will i find the time?' what will people think of it? can i really do this? '
and then it hit me. answers to those silly questions do not matter. at all. and yet, somehow with every new idea those questions seem to always creep up... no matter how hard i kicked them out the last time.
so with that said, i am ready to introduce the newest thing to hit the blog --
if that is even possible.
with the fact that summer is somehow already transitioning into fall & that this season, like every season, has been keeping me twirling in bizanelyness... truth be told, sometimes these wonderful 'ideas' that somehow won't leave me alone can almost feel a bit overwhelming...'when do i start?' 'how will i find the time?' what will people think of it? can i really do this? '
and then it hit me. answers to those silly questions do not matter. at all. and yet, somehow with every new idea those questions seem to always creep up... no matter how hard i kicked them out the last time.
what is truths? you may ask???
i feel we all too easily put pressure on ourselves & judge or perceive people based on what we 'know' about them. but the catch is that usually what we know about them is only their outer shell. only the bits & pieces we hear, or read on Facebook, Twitter or for some of us, on their blog.
almost weekly i get asked in some way as to how i am able to be so happy all the time? and the truth is, i am not able to be happy allllllll the time!!! i am human, after all. if you cut me, i will bleed.
or at least, my truth,,, as simple as it may be :
i choose to see the glass half full.
i choose to see the beauty in what happens so naturally around us. daily. hourly.
i choose to be grateFULL about it & everything that i am continually blessed with.
i choose to smile at strangers & say good morning, good day, hello.
i choose to get to know everyone's name that i cross paths with.
i choose to surround myself with things, people, sounds, places that inspire me.
i choose to take DEEP breathes when i feel i don't know which way to turn.
i choose to laugh. out loud. a lot. with others. & by myself.
i choose to do things because i want to. not because others are watching.
i choose to share the positive with others because we all know the negative is far to easy to find.
& when i have a bad day or a stressful week, i actively CHOOSE to find the positive. no matter what. i always, always remind myself that
all this doesn't make me any better or worse than anyone. it just makes me, me. you see, the truth is that i spent a lot of my childhood feeling sad. i wasn't 'popular' by whatever popular standards were back then & i would compare myself to others... and as sad as this is to admit, wish i had their life instead of my own. i felt stuck & at times, drowned by my own downward thoughts.
it wasn't until late in high school that i start coming out of my shell. i started being okay with me. i started listening to my inner voice.
i started growing into the 'ksenija' that was always there... just quieted by my own unnecessary negative thoughts.
aaaand, trust me, all this has been a continual process. every year i see myself grow & grow, which only excites me as to what the next 30, 60 years will bring. i know there will be ups & downs,,, but i also know that by being FULLY honest with yourself & others, you can only go up.
i hope to help shed these perceptions cast by our society, even if just a little. if a truths post is able to help just one person relate, feel not so alone or help realize how much we are all somehow tied together at the seams,,,
than what is holding me back except for the fear of being sooo open, or caring how others perceive it?
well,,, not anymore. in fact, the photos below are as open, raw & real as i have ever showed myself. i took them in my room while in Africa. i had just gotten out of the shower & felt inspired to snap a few pics -- my experience in Ethiopia was life-changing & i wanted to remember myself exactly as i was at that time.
because you see, truth is, i don't like getting my picture taken. especially without make-up. even though i would normally feel that the images below are not the most flattering, there is a beauty in them that i see simply because of the memory associated with them.
it has taken me 31 years to really see & appreciate what i was born with, with nothing to hide behind...
and it sure feels good.
