It Is Well, With My Soul
I kept wanting to post something cute & lovey for Valentine's day, something that talked about how love comes in different forms & how important it is to have self-love first & foremost. However, this weekend went a little differently & instead it left me thinking about the importance of remembering how immensely loved we are by our Creator. Let me explain. 
For me, Valentine's day began super early as I headed to get my workout in. As soon as I sat in my car, the radio played a song that made me think of my Dad. "Here comes that wave of grief again." The next song played & it felt as if God was speaking right to me... "What is going on? I must be tired."
Then, during my workout, I noticed a random tiny feather floating above me. Yes, a little feather, in a gym! Let me backtrack for a minute : when my father passed, one of the things we told our kids was that their Dedo is always with them just in a different way now, like when the wind blows, when the sun shines - he is everywhere. Later that day our son found a tiny little feather out of the blue & said, "Mama, it's Dedo!" and since then, these little feather's keep showing up randomly, even at my Mom's house.
As I watched that little feather dancing above me at the gym, I felt like I could maybe actually 'feel' my Dad with me for the first time since he passed. But I second guessed it & moved on with my day. I drove out to Pittsburgh to visit my best friend, the sun was shining & I could feel the weight of grief being lifted. Saturday morning, she put on some music & the first song that played was, "Raise A Hallelujah" which is a significant song to us (even though it said that "Closer" was supposed to play). We both felt that little (what I like to call) 'Godwink'. I silently thought, 'I wish it was "King of my Heart" then I would really know my Dad was with us'. Well, guess what song played IMMEDIATELY after --- "KING OF MY HEART"! You guys! I was SO overcome with emotion. Even if I wanted to second guess it, I couldn't. The emotion, peace & LOVE I was feeling was directly hitting my heart.
As if it couldn't have been any more clearer, the third song that played was "Waymaker" which has been a new found favorite of my husband's & I. It was as if I was hearing the verse, "Way maker, Miracle worker, Promise keeper, Light in the darkness, My God, That is who you are" in an entirely new light.
For me, Valentine's day began super early as I headed to get my workout in. As soon as I sat in my car, the radio played a song that made me think of my Dad. "Here comes that wave of grief again." The next song played & it felt as if God was speaking right to me... "What is going on? I must be tired."
Then, during my workout, I noticed a random tiny feather floating above me. Yes, a little feather, in a gym! Let me backtrack for a minute : when my father passed, one of the things we told our kids was that their Dedo is always with them just in a different way now, like when the wind blows, when the sun shines - he is everywhere. Later that day our son found a tiny little feather out of the blue & said, "Mama, it's Dedo!" and since then, these little feather's keep showing up randomly, even at my Mom's house.
As I watched that little feather dancing above me at the gym, I felt like I could maybe actually 'feel' my Dad with me for the first time since he passed. But I second guessed it & moved on with my day. I drove out to Pittsburgh to visit my best friend, the sun was shining & I could feel the weight of grief being lifted. Saturday morning, she put on some music & the first song that played was, "Raise A Hallelujah" which is a significant song to us (even though it said that "Closer" was supposed to play). We both felt that little (what I like to call) 'Godwink'. I silently thought, 'I wish it was "King of my Heart" then I would really know my Dad was with us'. Well, guess what song played IMMEDIATELY after --- "KING OF MY HEART"! You guys! I was SO overcome with emotion. Even if I wanted to second guess it, I couldn't. The emotion, peace & LOVE I was feeling was directly hitting my heart.
As if it couldn't have been any more clearer, the third song that played was "Waymaker" which has been a new found favorite of my husband's & I. It was as if I was hearing the verse, "Way maker, Miracle worker, Promise keeper, Light in the darkness, My God, That is who you are" in an entirely new light.
I knew in that moment that God was with me. My Dad was with me. And I knew I needed to find the time today to WRITE THIS ALL DOWN. I want to remember that God is always 'speaking' to me & the the less I second guess it, the more I allow it in. And in turn, the more I know & feel that "it is well with my soul" (which happened, btw, to be the 4th song that played mind you).
Our God is a good God who loves us fiercely & our life is a storybook that God has already written. The beauty is in trusting fearlessly that the best is yet to come.
All my love, friends.
Ksen
Back to all postsAll my love, friends.
Ksen