In The Moment

Apr 16, 2015 Motherhood, Personal
I am six months (ish) new to this journey called ‘motherhood’,
yet what I have learned & lived in these six months is unlike ANY period of my 36 years on Earth.

I have learned that once you become a mother, you begin to fully understand what it means to be selfless.

You learn that you are strong - like superwoman-like-strength STRONG.

Words like ‘indescribable’ & ‘love’ take on an ENTIRELY new meaning,
and the phrase, “Until you become a mother, you just don’t understand” you get. Like, really truly get.

I have learned that I was never tired before, even on my most exhausted work days.
Having a baby gives you perspective on what ‘tired’ really means (I give all parents with more than one child SO MUCH CREDIT!).
The irony is, though, that it is the BEST ‘tired’ you can ever ask for…
even when it takes everything in you to keep your eyelids from closing shut!

You learn that you want time to slow down, more than ever before,
yet it seems to be flying by at macro-lightning speed! #bigdislikebuttontothat
So you do your best to be present, to be in the moment, as much as you can.

...Because you know,
now you really understand,
that each & every moment,
whether it’s 3am or 3pm, matter.
They matter to you.
They matter to your child.
They matter to your family.
They matter to your heart.

You begin to truly understand how precious life is.
The other day was, what would appear to be from a bystander’s point of view,
another ordinary, 'ground-hog-like' day.

From the early morning change of the diaper,
to the feeding,
to wake-time,
to naptime,
to clean up house time,
try to workout–shower-eat breakfast time,
to repeat – do it all again time (Mama’s out there, you know the drill all too well ).

Except this time, during my son’s waketime when we were done playing in our living room -
which included the usual rolling over, sitting, shimming around, chewing on anything he could get his hands on, pretend piano playing, reading books, and of course, plenty of raspberry noises & giggles galore
I picked him up & took him into our bedroom to visit with our pups.

I layed down on my back & placed Jobie to sit on my belly.
I held his hands & for a moment,
I just layed there watching him observe, smile and make noises.
In the next moment, he leaned his head back in sheer amusement of the fan spinning above his head,
then looked toward the mirror in awe of his reflection, then back at me with
the most sincere delight in his eyes, sweet gummy smile on his beautiful face.

It was in this particular moment,
that I realized in a way I had never before that THIS moment,
this sweet, irreplaceable moment with my son,
as simple & silly as it may seem,
was all I needed, and MORE.

I've always liked to think of myself as a person who really tries to live fully & be present,
despite how much life can sometimes want to drown us in.
However, as a mother, I have never wanted to be in the moment more,,,
and am so incredibly grateful to God (for everything)
but especially for giving me that humbling perspective that recent rainy spring morning.

I am beyond grateful to be a mother,
to be Jobie Voja's mother,
and to be given the tremendous gift of being able to choose to infuse my son with love & light,
every. single. day.

I have the power to choose to be in the moment,
even when the world wants me distracted & elsewhere.

I always have the choice.
We always have the choice.

& I choose to be present.
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