To Be Awake To The Day

I saw this quote on a @spiritualgangster sweatshirt & just loved it : "We are spiritual beings having a human experience."

Today marks day 50 of my #100daysoflivingAWAKE challenge & I so wish today had started off positive, but instead I found myself headed out on my morning walk & couldn't even make it a block from my house without needing to sit on the curb & just cry. With the beginning of school, work & everything in between, I have been going non-stop for a while now and the overwhelm I have been feeling just, well, burst.

So I cried for a moment & then decided to turn around & head back home. I didn't feel like walking anymore. I didn't even know what I felt like doing. I just felt stuck (which is not a norm for me).

Once inside, I grabbed my morning smoothie & sat on our couch. My husband was out with our kids so for the first time in a long time, I had the entire house to myself. I needed to get back to work but I decided to take in the quiet of the house for a minute. I thought about how ironic it was that I was feeling low today & how I had almost this great expectation that by day 50 I would be feeling a difference in a VERY positive way.

But then I realized, I DO feel a difference in an extremely positive way. Darkness was, once again, just trying to dim my light. Living AWAKE to the day these past 50 days of course hasn't guaranteed 100% awesome days, BUT it has made me be open to my feelings, allow them & be present IN them, regardless of what they are. THIS alone has been a game changer.

At the core, this challenge so far has made me awake & look for the good in every day. There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about what I learned from it & how I can grow OR grew from it. "Good" or "bad", they are all valuable life lessons that can encourage you to continue to become your very best self.

Today I was reminded that :
“If the ocean can calm itself, so can you. We are both salt water mixed with air.” - Nayyirah Waheed

Even among the waves that life will bring, there is always a peace that surpasses understanding, if you simply allow it in. To be awake to the day is a gift, no matter what the day brings on.
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