IT IS WELL, WITH MY SOUL


  Monday, 2.17.20


I kept wanting to post something cute & lovey for Valentine's day, something that talked about how love comes in different forms & how important it is to have self-love first & foremost. However, this weekend went a little differently & instead it left me thinking about the importance of remembering how immensely loved we are by our Creator. Let me explain.

For me, Valentine's day began super early as I headed to get my workout in. As soon as I sat in my car, the radio played a song that made me think of my Dad. "Here comes that wave of grief again." The next song played & it felt as if God was speaking right to me... "What is going on? I must be tired."

Then, during my workout, I noticed a random tiny feather floating above me. Yes, a little feather, in a gym! Let me backtrack for a minute : when my father passed, one of the things we told our kids was that their Dedo is always with them just in a different way now, like when the wind blows, when the sun shines - he is everywhere. Later that day our son found a tiny little feather out of the blue & said, "Mama, it's Dedo!" and since then, these little feather's keep showing up randomly, even at my Mom's house.

As I watched that little feather dancing above me at the gym, I felt like I could maybe actually 'feel' my Dad with me for the first time since he passed. But I second guessed it & moved on with my day. I drove out to Pittsburgh to visit my best friend, the sun was shining & I could feel the weight of grief being lifted. Saturday morning, she put on some music & the first song that played was, "Raise A Hallelujah" which is a significant song to us (even though it said that "Closer" was supposed to play). We both felt that little (what I like to call) 'Godwink'. I silently thought, 'I wish it was "King of my Heart" then I would really know my Dad was with us'. Well, guess what song played IMMEDIATELY after --- "KING OF MY HEART"! You guys! I was SO overcome with emotion. Even if I wanted to second guess it, I couldn't. The emotion, peace & LOVE I was feeling was directly hitting my heart.

As if it couldn't have been any more clearer, the third song that played was "Waymaker" which has been a new found favorite of my husband's & I. It was as if I was hearing the verse, "Way maker, Miracle worker, Promise keeper, Light in the darkness, My God, That is who you are" in an entirely new light.

I knew in that moment that God was with me. My Dad was with me. And I knew I needed to find the time today to WRITE THIS ALL DOWN. I want to remember that God is always 'speaking' to me & the the less I second guess it, the more I allow it in. And in turn, the more I know & feel that "it is well with my soul" (which happened, btw, to be the 4th song that played mind you).

Our God is a good God who loves us fiercely & our life is a storybook that God has already written. The beauty is in trusting fearlessly that the best is yet to come.

All my love, friends.

Ksen
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