Saturday, 7.25.20

#100daysoflivingAWAKE day 12. Today was one of those days that I knew was going to come -- where I wouldn't necessarily FEEL like posting anything because how the day unfolded. Yet here I am, just in the nick of time before this day comes to an end. I challenged myself to show up for the next 100 days, to really live AWAKE & I won't break that promise to you and especially, to myself.

My husband & I got into an argument last night & we decided to "table it" (our new key phrase for when we can feel ourselves get heated, need to calm down and don't want to go there in front of our kids). Unfortunately though, we went to bed without resolving it & woke up to still feeling unsettled this morning. We finally took the time to lean into each other & work it out, which (thankfully) helped reset the tone for the rest of the day.

Mark & I have been married for almost 8 years now & it just grows more apparent to me how you HAVE to be willing to communicate A WHOLE LOT (& often) with your spouse. However, another thing that has been really clear to me is how MUCH we all need to work on our individual 'stuff' -- we all have things we have to sort out and work through! Clear out the clutter so that we can truly see ourSELF & stand confidently in who we ARE.

That thought was on my heart today & then I read something that was so timely :

"Waking up is a life long process. Waking up is simply gaining deeper levels of awareness. Of insight. It's the commitment to self observation that leads you to understand the ego. A misunderstood friend, that just needs to be witnessed with non-judgement. When you begin the practice of understanding the ego, you begin of returning home."
-- @the.holistic.psychologist

I think that if we could let go of the idea that there is a grand 'end goal'... & instead hold on tight to the notion that living for today IS the GOAL, we would all breathe easier & enjoy the now more. "Waking up is a life long process" -- so be gentle with yourself. Perspective is everything.

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