what lies beneath :self portrait october


  Monday, 12.16.13


i have been preparing this blog post for quite some time now, months in fact.

yet, even as i sit down to right this, all cozy on a perfectly 'lazy' Sunday afternoon, "Resistance" is trying it's best to keep me from it. despite the incredible urging feeling within ALL of me that is saying, yelling at the top of it's lungs,

"WRITE. LET IT ALL OUT. PAINT. CREATE. NOW, just DO IT!!! Do what is upon your HEART."


i hear this voice, i know it, & i know it to be true, but yet i so easily allow my brain & ego to convince myself that 'there isn't enough time for it'. that 'other things' are more important. that it WILL happen,,, another day. another time. maybe even tomorrow.

does any of this sound somewhat familiar to you?

i recently re-picked up a book that has been on my pile of books-to-read for quite some time now, called The War of Art. truth be told, this isn't my first time reading this book -- it is one of those beauts that should be read from time to time. on top of that, it is honestly one of the easiest reads ever. always a bonus when you 'never have the time', right?

so why am i telling you about this book?
because i felt i needed to. because i feel that everyone, yes EVERYONE, can benefit from this book.
especially one who needs to 'break through the blocks and win his/her inner creative battles.'

Steven Pressfield, the author, focuses on the incredible power of Resistance... i like to think of Resistance as 'Fear', but you will get a much better understanding of it when you read the book. page after page, it is like a 'a-ha' moment after moment! ...and this is NOT my first time reading this book!!!

it made me feel alive again, for the first time in the longest time, in a different way. i felt the inner creative in me literally having a yahoo dance party within my belly! it was like getting butterflies times a hundred.

...& it reminded me how much we ALL need the reminder,
and how much we ALL need to pause more, resist less & take more time for ourselves.

i know what you're thinking right about now
& i know that there is Resistance telling you you 'don't have the time for this book',
nor the other twenty books that have been sitting on your nightstand longing for your touch & sweet glance of your eyes.

trust me when i say i COMPLETELY understand not having the time,
but as a dear friend of mine said to me recently,

"you just have to make the time for YOU. you just have to do it."

so in my humble opinion,
i ask you to do yourself a favor and treat yourself to a nice warm cup of whatever-your-heart-desires & a copy of The War of Art.
start here.
just start!

as for me, after re-reading this book i can honestly say that i am feeling a new-found light...
& in a way a lightness, for a change.

so i am putting up my hand to 'Resistance'
smiling at the possibilities of what is to come,

...and letting go of unnecessary expectations & self-created deadlines.
i'm taking that first step & doing what has been on my heart for far too long --

just by showing up,
and starting there.



without further ado,
my october self portrait :
' what lies beneath '

with love & gratitude,

ksen
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