trust


  Friday, 4.26.13


after just returning from travels back to Punta Cana, Domenican Republic, for Chad & Danielle's wedding & another chance to see our beautiful sponsor child, Yuleidy (more on that to come soon ), it was impossible not to think about our honeymoon only a little less than 8 months ago at the same place.

below is a journal entry that i wrote during that time that i needed to read today...
& wanted to share in case you did too.


september 19, 2012 : 6:42 am

as we got up to watch another sunrise this morning, feet in the cool textured sand heavy from the rain the night before, Mark looked at me & said,

"you know... no matter what happens when we get back to the states,
or what our unborn children grow up to be,
or how long our parents live,
or even what happens today --
the sun will always come up & set every single day."

although this isn't too far off from many of the thoughts that come from my husband's mouth,
(HOLD UP. wait a minute. did i just say 'husband'?!!!!!! )
there was something about this one that just stuck in a different way.

i've been thinking a lot about TRUST on this trip. trusting that all will be okay even though i just took, for the first time since starting my business a little over 6 years ago, a vacation completely disconnected from everything (including my laptop which literally goes with me everywhere), trusting that all our wedding bills will get paid for, trusting that as i feel a shift in my business, God has the ultimate plan for me. for us. ...as He always does.

I've been thinking a lot about how everything that has felt so 'right' in my life has always been layered in an uncanny & undeniable level of trust,,,
despite the overwhelming amount of fear that encrusted it.
trust to leave my 'secure' job to pursue my passion, trust to just 'let it go' after i found out a fellow photographer used her assistant to pretend she was inquiring for a wedding... only to steal my information & contract work!, trust to break off an engagement with a wonderful man because 'something' just didn't feel right (even though nothing seemed 'wrong'),
...trust that there was SOMEONE out there for me with a burning desire for God, a want to make a difference in this crazy beautiful world of ours, a real interest in mind, body & soul,,, and of course, great passion, life & love.

everything is encoded in TRUST. everything. think about it the next time you fear anything...
at that very moment, FEEL what you KNOW to be true.

trust yourSelf --
you will quickly realize that the best guide is always within you.

granted, this lesson is one you may have to repeat & relearn continually,
but one thing is for sure,

i promise you it will be worth it EVERY time.

xxoo

ksen
(sunkissed, freckles & all )

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