a week or so ago i began Brene Brown's online lifeclass through Oprah.com called The Gifts of Imperfection -- just reading the title of the class & her book and i was hooked.

although taking on one more thing right now seems a bit crazy, i have been craving this type of self-exploration & knew if i didn't make the time, it wouldn't happen naturally. isn't that the truth?!

& why is it always so hard to make time for OURSELVES? and then when we do, why is there usually guilt involved with it?

maybe i speak for myself with the above, but as soon as i gently cracked 'opened this door', i feel like so many other doors have opened. & don't get me wrong, i am still just barely starting, but i can literally feel it happening.

i also can't say that this 'process' has been easy. it's not. it brings out many vulnerabilities & is helping me dig deep into areas i feel fear going into.

however, i keep hearing Brene's quote in the back of my head,

"Owning our story
and loving ourselves through the process
is the bravest thing that we will ever do."

“you don’t have to go fast,
just get out there,
just DO IT.

run slow, if you have to. just go!”

...an assortment of motivating thoughts would run through my mind when i first started training for my upcoming half-marathon.
being an active person, always up for a challenge, i couldn’t understand why my mind was so resistant to the concept of running?

i have had my bouts of running in the past, but nothing quite like training for a half-marathon which means A WHOLE lot of running every week for months on end -- for me, it is definitely a love-hate relationship.

yet, something about running this time for me has been different.
don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t necessarily been any easier,
just different.

I have run in the rain,
I have run in the high heat,
I have run in the cold,
I have listened to countless hours of Pandora & my running music mixes,
I have waved & greeted many new neighbors,
I have thought far too many deep thoughts,
I have prayed & then prayed some more,
I have closed my eyes & trusted the ground beneath me,
I have hurt in places I didn’t know were able to hurt,
I have been greeted by animals of all kinds,
I have felt the sunshine on my cheeks & felt relief in the shade of the trees,
I have ran past little league games & high school practices,
I have pushed through when I didn’t think I could go any further,
I have gone further then I have thought I could go,
I have convinced myself too many times over again NOT to give up….
all while running.

on top of all of this, i am running with a purpose, which undeniably has been my biggest motivating factor. i am running the Detroit half-marathon with Hope Water Project to help raise money, build wells and bring clean water to the Pokot in Kenya, Africa. there are SO many great reasons to run, but obviously this one has touched my heart in a special way. i have seen first-hand the living situations of the Pokot, & in a way, i feel this is the least i can do to help... it's a start.

running has changed me. i can’t say that my love-hate relationship has really changed all that much, but what has is that i actually crave it! my body & mind will fight me most of the time, but my heart perseveres & gives me that 'knowing', and God gives me the strength...
reminding me that the very fact that i can run, is a blessing all in itself.

it has been inspiring & humbling when i think about the power within me, which is really within each of us.
the power of our own potential, just by putting our minds to it, is truly limitless.

i think the key is to remind ourselves that no matter how far we need to go,
nor what the task may be at hand,
all you have to do is S T A R T.

...and run slow.

it is not a race, it is just a goal….

and a goal that can & WILL be accomplished if YOU believe it will.
to me, this thought really translates to many aspects of our life, not just running.

so next time you are about to venture into an unknown & fear is getting to you,,,
just remind yourself to 'run slow'.
you’ll know when you need to speed up & you’ll know when you need to pause and take a break…
but at least you will be ON THE PATH!

...and that, my friend, is much better then never getting there at all.


without further ado,
my august self portrait :
' run slow '

"there's room in the song for you"

is what is tattooed across the right collar bone of the sweet barista at one of our new favorite places to get coffee from as a special treat, the Dessert Oasis Coffee in Rochester, Michigan.

"there's room in the song for you," i think to myself. how simple & absolutely beautiful.

lately i have been pretty hard on myself. like, more then usual & definitely more than i would like to admit.
i have been feeling almost uncomfortable and in this personal battle of sorts. i reason & remind myself that i am going through transition, that this is all part of the ride, & that there is a BIGGER purpose in all of this... i know this with ALL of my heart -- this is my conscious choice.

but then my ego creeps in & i start feeling ashamed to be feeling this way when i have SO MUCH to be grateful for.

and grateful, I AM.
that's just it! i am SO RIDICULOUSLY GRATEFUL that i can't help but wonder at times, what's wrong with me?!

then something small happens,
like a small white butterfly that cuts across me in midst negative thought & literally 'lights' my path,
or an elderly neighbor sparks up a conversation with me & reminds me to slooooooow down,
or a personal message at church from a family that suffered deeply from postpartum brings me to silent tears,
or a dear friend shares something so personal & beautiful that my heart warms in a way for her that only God can do,

...or a tattoo on a barista reminds me that no matter how i may feel,
there is ALWAYS room in 'the song' for me.
for you.
for all of us.

we are NOT alone...
and i KNOW this, but sometimes i forget.

so today i am choosing to embrace it.
to embrace the down along with the up.
to embrace the curly & let go of the straight.
to embrace the sweet & let go of the harsh.
to embrace the good skin days along with the bad.
to embrace the skinny days along with the bloated ones.
to embrace the creative flow & be okay with the artistic block.
to embrace the pause & let go of the constant need to be busy.
to embrace the love.

and most of all, regardless of all my daily whole-hearted optimistic intentions,
to embrace who I AM.
to love it.
to allow it.
to know it.
to live it.
to learn it.
to be it.

to embrace whatever IT may be.



without further ado,
my july self portrait :
' embrace '