who, me?!


  Thursday, 3.2.17


I think the internet is a funny thing... and as it grows, it only becomes more & more interesting to me how MUCH it can be deceptive and, although not always intentionally, full of fake truths.

What do I mean by this exactly?
Well, I will hear things from people regarding other people's Facebook posts, for instance. Things such as :

"Wow, 'so & so' went on vacation to __________, they are so lucky. I wish I had their life."
"Did you see the birthday party she threw for her 1 year old? It was Pinterest perfect."
"How is that Mom/Dad able to take care of 3 children, work AND look so put together all the time? I just don't get it."
Just to name a few.

I have also heard them about myself in regards to being surprised that
"Your son has tantrums, it just doesn't seem like him!"
to
"How are you so positive all the time?"
to
"How do you do it ALL?" ...

Although I know these comments are ALL coming from a loving place,
I am here today to tell you all that the first thing I think when I hear these things about myself is....

WHO, ME?!

Truly. It made me start to think more about how easy it is to unintentionally be deceptive when posting on the internet. For the most part, we tend to post only the good things. The things that we are proud of, make us smile, bring joy to our day. I am definitely guilty of this! Not only is it so much easier for me to post the positive things, but on the days that I am feeling down or overwhelmed, I just don't even have the energy to post anything at all... let alone do I want to post something down & bring someone else down, too!

BUT, there has to be a fine line here, because I also don't want to come off as having this "perfect" life that is always happy, fun & full of adventure.
I want to be REAL with you all.
I want you to know that we are all imperfectly PERFECT, each in our own beautiful way.
I want us to embrace the life that we have, the good and the 'bad'.
I want to enforce that it really does take a village to be a parent... Lord knows I cannot do this all on my own!

With that said, I have felt the need to write this post for a while now.
I needed to make sure you knew that our son (even though, yes I do think he is pretty much the greatest, cutest, sweetest boy in the Universe & yes, I AM his mother which makes me 100 times more likely to think so ), does indeed have tantrums/meltdowns.
He IS after all TWO years old!
Here's a quick snapshot of proof... exhibit A, B, C & D :

And YES! I always try my best to stay positive & see the glass half full, however it IS a daily effort. Don't be fooled! It takes work (hard work!) to do so... including journaling, praying, reading devotionals, listening to inspiring podcasts, meditating, talking with my hubby or a best friend when something is bothering me in order to really let it out & not let it fester, exercising, blogging, AND trying to stay off of social media sites that fill me with fear, not JOY.
Most importantly, always - always - always being conscious to circle back to GRATITUDE.
Leading with it, expressing it, being IT.


And lastly, "how do I do it all?" ... well, I don't. I can't.
I am only one person & although there are days I feel like I can do it all -- the raw truth is I simply cannot.
AND THAT IS OKAY.
I am not trying to be superwoman or supermom or superwife. I am just trying to be as super as I can moment by moment.
And on the days when I am not so great, I try to find time to pause, breathe, reflect & apologize (even when I don't want to )...
because holding on to any sort of grudge or anger is only hurting me, no one else.


The older I grow, the more I realize that as I started to 'shed' those unrealistic society induced expectations of
who I am 'supposed to be' & all that I am 'supposed to be' doing, the more I settled into who I really AM.
...& who I AM, is a wonderful, imperfect, real, raw, loving, mama, wife, friend, daughter, sister, HUMAN being
that is just taking this all one step at a time.

I am listening to God's whispers, holding strong to the TRUTH,
remembering that "fear is NOT the truth" and trying my best to make the best of each day as it comes.
When I have my lows, I embrace them for what they are & then step back up.
It is all the ebb & flow of life, isn't it friends? Let's take the time to remember this well today.
We are all in this together. We really are.

So much love to you,

Ksen
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