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truths : i choose friendship
literally, in january.
i was going through a hard time with two people i trusted whole-heartedly, loved & of course, thought were my friends.
i wrote the post,
it felt good to write it,
shared it with a couple of my besties
& then never posted it.
it just wasn't the right 'time'... or maybe i just wasn't ready.
then recently one of my best friends got really sick & ended up in the ER. to say it was scary is an understatement. i knew deep down inside that she was going to be alright (which she is, thank you God!), but in those moments at the hospital & throughout the following days, my ego creeped in & i couldn't help but think about the dreaded 'what if's'.
which is when this post started to creep back into my mind. why?
because she is a TRUE friend. one of those rare gems that i am forever grateful for, that everyone should be blessed to have at least ONE in their life. i am beyond lucky to have a handful & thank God for them daily.
so i decided to share my post today.
maybe some of you will relate,
maybe it will help a few of you going through a tough time in a friendship,
or maybe it will help you realize all over again how special your best friends really are.
without further ado, my original post :
TRUTHS : I CHOOSE FRIENDSHIP
i think somewhere or somehow we all have been in this situation, or something similar to it.
you have a great friend, or at least someone you think is a great friend.
you trust this person.
you tell this person all the truths about you.
you give this person the keys to your home.
you tell this person that you love them.
you introduce this person to your other close friends.
they love this person because YOU love this person.
all is happy. or so it seems.
years pass & your friendship grows. you think all is great & then, for whatever unbeknownst reason, one day it's just not. everything is different.
your 'friend' starts acting weird, becomes more distant & this same 'friend' who told you too many times how "if they had a problem with another friend, they would just tell them" does the COMPLETE opposite to you!
instead this friend just stops calling, texting, emailing & being the 'friend' that they were for so many years.
you reach out, try to figure out what happened because (silly you) you actually care, & receive nothing but fluff back.
and eventually nothing at all.
you are hurt tremendously & feel deceived, fooled and TOTALLY, utterly confused. you call your best friends, who also can't understand what exactly happened???.
and of course, nothing ever gets 'figured out'... time passes & you just naturally move on.
so my question to you today is :
if you know that someone has immensely hurt your friend, do you still be friends with them?
or leisurely comment on their Facebook?
or follow them on Instagram?
& pretend like what they did to your real friend was okay through our loose social media ways?
all the while knowing in the back of your head their true colors?
i choose my friendship with the person i have known longer & trusted through thick and thin.
to me, NOTHING is worth hurting my real, true friend.
maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal to you at all.
maybe it seems petty or silly.
but i can honestly say that i absolutely love, adore & cherish my friends.
so to me, it's NOT worth that extra FB 'like' when i know full well it would be hurtful to someone i really care about.
fakeness makes me cringe & yet social media these days (although it comes with pros & cons) seems to encourage it.
...but when it comes down to it,
we ALL have a choice to make at every moment.
i choose RESPECT.
i choose real, honest-to-goodness beautyFULL friendship.
what do you choose?
run slow : self portrait august
just get out there,
just DO IT.
run slow, if you have to. just go!Ē
...an assortment of motivating thoughts would run through my mind when i first started training for my upcoming half-marathon.
being an active person, always up for a challenge, i couldnít understand why my mind was so resistant to the concept of running?
i have had my bouts of running in the past, but nothing quite like training for a half-marathon which means A WHOLE lot of running every week for months on end -- for me, it is definitely a love-hate relationship.
yet, something about running this time for me has been different.
donít get me wrong, it hasnít necessarily been any easier,
I have run in the rain,
I have run in the high heat,
I have run in the cold,
I have listened to countless hours of Pandora & my running music mixes,
I have waved & greeted many new neighbors,
I have thought far too many deep thoughts,
I have prayed & then prayed some more,
I have closed my eyes & trusted the ground beneath me,
I have hurt in places I didnít know were able to hurt,
I have been greeted by animals of all kinds,
I have felt the sunshine on my cheeks & felt relief in the shade of the trees,
I have ran past little league games & high school practices,
I have pushed through when I didnít think I could go any further,
I have gone further then I have thought I could go,
I have convinced myself too many times over again NOT to give upÖ.
all while running.
on top of all of this, i am running with a purpose, which undeniably has been my biggest motivating factor. i am running the Detroit half-marathon with Hope Water Project to help raise money, build wells and bring clean water to the Pokot in Kenya, Africa. there are SO many great reasons to run, but obviously this one has touched my heart in a special way. i have seen first-hand the living situations of the Pokot, & in a way, i feel this is the least i can do to help... it's a start.
running has changed me. i canít say that my love-hate relationship has really changed all that much, but what has is that i actually crave it! my body & mind will fight me most of the time, but my heart perseveres & gives me that 'knowing', and God gives me the strength...
reminding me that the very fact that i can run, is a blessing all in itself.
it has been inspiring & humbling when i think about the power within me, which is really within each of us.
the power of our own potential, just by putting our minds to it, is truly limitless.
i think the key is to remind ourselves that no matter how far we need to go,
nor what the task may be at hand,
all you have to do is S T A R T.
...and run slow.
it is not a race, it is just a goalÖ.
and a goal that can & WILL be accomplished if YOU believe it will.
to me, this thought really translates to many aspects of our life, not just running.
so next time you are about to venture into an unknown & fear is getting to you,,,
just remind yourself to 'run slow'.
youíll know when you need to speed up & youíll know when you need to pause and take a breakÖ
but at least you will be ON THE PATH!
...and that, my friend, is much better then never getting there at all.
my august self portrait :
' run slow '
regarding my half-marathon for
Hope Water Project,
the half-marathon is less than a month away
& EVERY amount counts!
together we really can help create more healthy, happy smiles.
my biggest blessing
i don't think i have properly introduced him.
...and in my humble opinion,
the world needs to know this humble man...
a man i am forever thankful for.
he is kind.
he is genuine.
he makes you feel loved & important, no matter who you are.
he is a lover of life & all things sentimental.
he makes time for everyone... even complete strangers.
he is an old soul living in a young body.
he continually does random acts of kindness, like stopping by my parents house to surprise my mom with a coffee & card just because.
he sincerely loves people and spending time with family & friends.
he will always make time for you, even when his schedule is completely full.
he is passionate about digital health.
he is the Digital Diet Guy.
he is an extremely hard worker.
he is incredibly empathetic.
he is compassionate.
he is healthy & strong, in more ways than one.
he would give you the shirt off his back.
he will willingly massage my achy feet or back, even when he has had the longest day.
he surprised me by writing & singing his vows!
he is an eternal optimist.
he is a sponge for knowledge of any sort.
he is a bookworm at heart.
he is selfless.
he is sweet.
he is handsome.
he is loyal.
he is a son, brother, uncle, godfather, husband, friend, best friend.
he is honest, respectful, communicative, faithful, passionate.
he is a man of God.
he has a heart of gold.
he is love.
he is my love.
he makes my heart beat beat.
he is my lovies, my squeechy, my husband.
he is Mark Andrew Ostach.
...and it's important to note, i don't say the things above lightly nor loosely.
they are simple & true.
they are Mark.
& those who know him, know what i am talking about!!
on this little ol' blog of mine, i express my hopes, dreams, passions, fears, happiness, sadness, loves,,, everything!
so how could i not share the most important piece of me?
Mark's birthday also happens to be today, so i couldn't think of a better time.
this world is most definitely a better place because you are in it.
today will always be one of my most favorite days to celebrate because without it,
he would have never have been born!
you are a blessing,
my biggest blessing.
i love you,
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