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trust
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 Friday, 4.26.13
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), it was impossible not to think about our honeymoon only a little less than 8 months ago at the same place.
below is a journal entry that i wrote during that time that i needed to read today...
& wanted to share in case you did too.
september 19, 2012 : 6:42 am
"you know... no matter what happens when we get back to the states,
or what our unborn children grow up to be,
or how long our parents live,
or even what happens today --
the sun will always come up & set every single day."
although this isn't too far off from many of the thoughts that come from my husband's mouth,
(HOLD UP. wait a minute. did i just say 'husband'?!!!!!!
)
there was something about this one that just stuck in a different way.
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I've been thinking a lot about how everything that has felt so 'right' in my life has always been layered in an uncanny & undeniable level of trust,,,
despite the overwhelming amount of fear that encrusted it.
trust to leave my 'secure' job to pursue my passion, trust to just 'let it go' after i found out a fellow photographer used her assistant to pretend she was inquiring for a wedding... only to steal my information & contract work!, trust to break off an engagement with a wonderful man because 'something' just didn't feel right (even though nothing seemed 'wrong'),
...trust that there was SOMEONE out there for me with a burning desire for God, a want to make a difference in this crazy beautiful world of ours, a real interest in mind, body & soul,,, and of course, great passion, life & love.
everything is encoded in TRUST. everything. think about it the next time you fear anything...
at that very moment, FEEL what you KNOW to be true.
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you will quickly realize that the best guide is always within you.
granted, this lesson is one you may have to repeat & relearn continually,
but one thing is for sure,
i promise you it will be worth it EVERY time.
xxoo
ksen
(sunkissed, freckles & all
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always hope
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Thursday, 4.11.13
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for the daily message from the 'Universe' that greets me in my inbox every day.
however, today this one just spoke to me in a different way & i wanted to share :
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i think i find myself in these 'moments' almost daily... & truth is, there is always HOPE.
no matter how 'little' you think you may be doing or how hard life can get at times,
it feels good to know that like with any ups & downs,
there is, & will always be, HOPE at the core of it all.
the above message/quote came from the awesome
www.tut.com.
it's a free sign up & guaranteed to start off your day on a positive & inspiring note.
here's to helping, hoping & dreaming BIG!
happy thursday,
xo
ksen
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alive
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Monday, 4.8.13
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but somehow i feel different.
i feel a sense of calmness that i have never felt before.
a knowing that all will be okay... but TRULY believing it.
that what i look like,
or how much i weigh,
or what others think does not matter -
it is your LIGHT & your LOVE that do.
at church this past Sunday they asked the question
"what does it mean to be FULLY alive?"
i haven't even been back home a week now & i find myself feeling almost a little 'lost' for lack of a better word.
when i was in Africa, especially near the end of our trip,
i found myself wondering what it would feel like to take a warm shower inside my already warm home...
& not be afraid of the water running out.
i dreamt of sharing a Greek Island Special or Inn Season salad with my husband & a large ice cold glass of water.
i wondered how it would feel to be back in my comfy bed...
with no mosquito netting tucked in all around me & fear of what insect may decide to join me for a snooze.
but even after all these 'thoughts' came to fruition, they did not give me the sense of peace i thought i would feel.
& although soothing,
they definitely didn't make me feel
ALIVE.
even though my experience in Kenya was by far one of the hardest trips i have done to date,
the irony is that being there i felt so alive. i can see & feel that so clearly, especially now.
but how is that possible?
how is it possible that in the midst of the complete unknown,
NO cellular service, NO electricity, NO paved roads, NO clean anything...
that i could feel SO alive?
as i have been asking myself this, i realized that God had been sending me signs all along.
somehow... i am not surprised.
i saw Him in the early morning sunrise in Chemolingot, the first orphanage that we visited.
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i saw Him in the ground i stood on.
these 'sticks' literally stopped me in my tracks... talk about awakening my soul.
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& i feel the best, most real, honest way to do so is to share my journal entries with you all.
stay tuned for that... & in the mean time,
i hope this finds you all feeling ALIVE,
leading with LOVE
& paying attention to all the 'signs' that come your way.
with love & gratitude,
ksen
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